I found out, earlier this week, that my podcast has 250 downloads! So, that feels really exciting, especially since I have not committed to turning out a lot of episodes in the traditional way. I have built a process for releasing more episodes, more often, from now on. Speaking of which, I released the 8th episode a couple of days ago! Here's a link to listen on your preferred platform, although it's not up on YouTube yet.
Speaking of more frequent content production, I recently hit a breaking point. I found the book Collective Illusions by Todd Rose on my friend's nightstand and discovered that the author has a think tank devoted to doing work that aligns completely with the Utopian theory work that I've been doing. The think tank is Populace and its premise is that we can improve quality of life for people by leaning into their diversity and learning to value people for doing purpose-filled work that they enjoy, rather than striving for a narrow definition of success. This is very much a part of my core philosophy around egalitarian societal structures and it was a belief also held by Einstein, whose, "Don't judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree," statement was in defense of this idea. Einstein was a socialist and wrote an interesting paper that very few people have heard of, much less read: "Why Socialism?"
Anyway, I became so excited to find more people doing this work at a high level, while, at the same time, feeling crushed that I haven't built a more impressive body of work around my own ideas. I sat with this experience. I've been feeling like a shaken soda bottle with its top still on: so much buzzing within me that hasn't had the chance to get out. My breaking point. I felt like exploding and bursting with all of the potential I hadn't unleashed. As I sat with this and explored it, I realized that I'd been allowing my "editor mind" to restrict my expression and my creativity. I hadn't been allowing myself to be productive because I was always worrying about how I would polish whatever it was I wanted to say or create. How would I make it cohesive, brief, and digestible? Death to my ideas.
So, I have committed to just getting it out. I've been posting, almost daily, stream-of-consciousness rants about various ideas on Instagram that fly in the face of the expected format. 11 minutes of me just thinking out loud. Who cares? The point of it is not to package and sell my work. It's for me. It's for my practice. It's for getting my ideas out and speaking them into the world so that, later on, my editor brain can wade through the mess and pick up the pieces and polish them and place them for viewing. I've had to remind myself that creation and editing are two separate processes. So this week, when I recorded my podcast, I just went with what was on my mind at the time: what I had been speaking on and around on social media. No outline, no plan. Just the gently polished thoughts that had been tumbling around in my brain all week.
Just before writing this, I was working on a new article that I started by speaking into my voice notes while on a walk with Hercules. I had the 13-minute-long voice memo transcribed by Rev and now I'm editing that into an essay.
What I've learned this week is just to get it out and edit it later. I turned the body of last week's off-the-cuff newsletter into an article. This space gives me the freedom to not give a fuck and just write whatever is on my mind because it is safe. There's a rapport I feel here, because my friends reach out to me and tell my they love my newsletter and it frees me to write without pretension, which somehow ends up inspiring good-ish writing that I can later polish for the outside world. I just show up here and write what's on my mind. So, whatever it is... just get it out, however you can. Even if it is public, especially if it is public. No one is going to measure you by that one thing. My rants get farther and farther down my Instagram feed every day and soon they'll be entangled in a mélange of shorter, more polished, edited clips that are more aligned with what's expected. Do both. Do it all. Just get it out. Don't be a shaken up bottle of soda with the top still on.
That reminds me of this great Ira Glass thingy I saw the other day about the gap between our taste and our abilities in the early stages of learning our craft.
Meanwhile, check out some of my rants on insta if you feel so inclined.
I want to start skateboarding with Hercules. That's a messiness with higher stakes! But I can do it, and I will.
What else do I want to tell you? I'm feeling very productive. I've written several articles and produced a new podcast episode and the insta rants I've been going on have been honing my thoughts. I'm moving through blocks and uncorking the bottle in a way that feels very satisfying. I'm seeking to apply this newfound freedom and productivity to music and filmmaking as well, so, exciting things afoot!
What goal/creation/endeavor have you been putting off? How can you unscrew the top?
Until next time <3
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